On 25th April 2010, a year and a day after my brother's funeral,
I ran the London Marathon with my friend Maria.
The race closed a year of Running For Matthew. But my family and I have been running, on and off, for a few years. Mum and I started up in about 2000, on a walk/run type programme. I can clearly remember running round the fields watching my little egg timer and wishing the seconds would pass faster! Lowri joined in soon after and every so often we would run together.But if you were to ask me when we actually became "runners", I'd say Easter Sunday last year, two days after Matthew died. Mum said she wanted us to something for him, to bring the family back together, to do some good. She chose a half marathon. Well, two.
I started this site three weeks afterwards and in the last few months it has gone through several revisions. The training was tough and I think we were all challenged in one way or another. Poor Bryonie battled more or less constant injury; Mum had trouble with her knee, Holly gave up smoking. The race reports can all be found in my blog; the biggest of which is the Run To The Beat report and can be found here. We've done a fair few races in the last two seasons, In total, so far we raised just over £6500 for the Air Ambulance.
After Matthew's death everything stopped. Nothing mattered. I could barely get myself up and dressed, let alone go for a run. Gradually, though, running became a reason to get up. In fact the only time I could muster any sense of balance was at 6.30 in the morning, chasing the sunrise alongside fields and hedgrows, alone and running with my thoughts. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that running has kept me coping - functioning, even. When I felt tired, I ran slowly. When I felt angry, I ran faster. When I felt sad, I would still run, but sometimes cry. There's something really calming about taking to the streets in the early morning, running as the sun comes up. It steadies the soul. Sometimes it's almost as though he's running with me.
Two years on and Matt is missed today as much as ever. It's a hurt that never really goes away. But silly though it may seem, running is something we do for him, the effort, the support we have for the charities we choose, it all seems to culminate in a gift for Matthew - a celebration of life. Two years later it is still as important as it ever was.
